Friday, May 20, 2011

A quick note before the lottery drawing for end of the world

It's amusing and a little sad the way we humans make up stories which propose it's harder to live contentedly than it really is. We crave danger and melodrama, and most of all we yearn for a purpose. We prefer swelling music with our eschatology, and warrior angels are optional but welcome. It seems so odd that even the believers so near the end still went to work, did the errands, got 'er done. If the world's coming to an end, we'll still be wearing clean clothes. I did hear of a very young couple, both unemployed drop-outs who had only budgeted through this Saturday, and could find themselves in a state of acute pecuniary embarrassment come Monday if everything doesn't turn out as it was written. Or thought up. Or whatever.

That fervent couple will doubtless learn how our society takes pains to pauperize people who are unwise with their money-- penalties and fees and higher interest and more expensive credit. Many of their aspirations for future financial security will fly off, like the souls of the righteous during the Rapture.

I'm posting in order to send my best wishes to all, on what could be the end of the world, or more likely another losing lottery ticket. We'll all start searching for another end, another meaning. Isn't 2013 the supposed end of time according to the Mayan calendar? Or is it just the edge of the stone that represented their universe, and we just need a bigger stone to give us centuries more. Linux, the computer operating system, will run into an end of time scenario in 2037, I believe, because it runs out of seconds-since-some-long-past-point in time that's easily stored in 16 bits or 32 bits or something.

I have fantasized that the Rapture took all the lazy, misguided, and unfocused people away into the sky, so we who are left can now get some work done, and then enjoy ourselves.

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Former Bush Administration trolls claim vindication of torture

John Yoo, the former Bush Administration justice department functionary who argued that illegal treatment of prisoners was actually legal, claimed vindication yesterday for torturing a bunch of detainees, because apparently years ago one of the writhing little brown devils gave up a description of a courier who may have been working for Osama bin Laden.

Unfortunately, neither Yoo nor any of the rest of the Bush loyalists (perhaps we should call them the "Bush League") were able to shed any light on why they invaded two wrong countries, mixed up the terms "al Qaeda" and "Taliban," and alienated all of our allies besides the Brits (who were too busy buying up our mortgages to notice). Nor could they clarify the motivation for any of the other two to three hundred thousand civilian casualties inflicted in their relentless quest for justice.

In related news, doctors working to prepare for Dick Cheney's imminent heart transplant have reportedly been stymied by the fact they can't find any indication of where the original one went.