"Some of Einstein's early findings indicate that space and time are curved, and that has led my team to attempt to measure the curve," explained mathematics researcher Hendrichs Straat. Dr. Straat's team has been running analyses on a large supercomputer in New Delhi using precise predictive models made possible by recent discoveries in particle acceleration, and further refined by himself and his students.
Simultaneously, astronomers around the world were noticing what appeared to be a slight but detectable tilt and acceleration of celestial bodies, both near and far. "Astronomers have known for years how galaxies spiral around a central point." stated Dr. Pierre Bidet, the chief of EU team analyzing the Hubble data. "What we've detected are much larger structures, 'galaxies of galaxies' if you will, which also demonstrate a round, spiraling motion, and which appear-- and this is still a puzzle-- to be accelerating."
The final piece of the study was supplied by a paper submitted in August of 2006 which outlined some findings of the tiny Cosmic Background Radiation Explorer (CBRex) satellite. The fact it was able to detect measurable amounts of background infrared radiation-- the leftover sound radiation from the Big Bang-- indicated the existence of the elusive "dark matter" that physicists had been predicting for decades. Dr. Peter Ramrod, the Australian astronomer summed it up. "Given our best estimates of the mass of the universe, it's clear without dark matter, there's not enough gravitational energy in the universe for the primordial vibration to sustain itself. If we can measure the vibration, then that proves the dark matter must be out there. We can't see it, but we have now measured it." More surprising, Ramrod explained, the measurements indicate a high level of "clumpiness" or non-uniformity of this residual "stuff" of the universe. "The dark matter has a more galactic structure than we would ever have predicted."
The rest of this revolutionary scientific discovery is the story of hard work on the part of several teams of graduate students, and a bit of good luck. At about 8:45 am on a Tuesday morning in March, Ms. Cecelia Strompette, doctoral candidate and technical lead of the team of French graduate students digesting all of this new data, walked back into the lab from her morning break muttering, "zut alors," and proceeded to explain to her teammates her "grand unification theory" (GUT). As the importance of her insight sunk in, her increasingly excited colleagues went to work. Calculations were jotted down and quickly double-checked, phone calls were placed to Berne, UCBerkeley, and NASA's headquarters in Houston.
While NASA scientists scratched their heads at the clumps of dark matter and the barely-detected cosmic echo of whatever ejected them, and the team of French physicists were dutifully checking their findings that indicate an inwardly spiraling and slowly accelerating universe, the team measuring Einstein's curve discovered an elongated "bowl-like" shape to the universe that fits most of the mathematical models and also corresponds almost perfectly to the American Standard Ultra Flush Model 4 bathroom fixture.
The final paper was quickly drafted and sent to universities and laboratories around the world for peer review. The evidence was in, and incontrovertible. The full paper will be published this month in the AIIPC (Annals of International Plumbers and Cosmologists). The abstract is available online at http://abstracts.big-flush.org. Online registration required.