This is not news

Yesterday in Rochester, NH (about 25 miles from here) some poor sick schmoe with persistent mental health problems decided to ratchet his life crises up a notch, and so taped some wires and crap to his chest and walked into a Hilary Clinton campaign office to announce he was taking hostages and wanted to negotiate some concessions. He was pissed off about, among other things, the state of mental health care in this country, a topic about which I am sure he had some expertise. He insisted on speaking with Larry King (sure to help in a situation like this!), and the network news (another sure source of help). Emergency police squads from around the area were called in. All the unused Homeland Security equipment, which had, until now been stored away in footlockers was now hauled out, unwrapped, dusted off, primed, loaded, and made ready. I am sure instruction books and training manuals were cracked open and skimmed. The local cops got a chance to change out of their blue uniforms and don camouflage, and probably got to work some overtime. Night vision scopes were mounted on helmets. Ms. Clinton was kept in constant apprisal with the situation through satellite uplinks. She happened to be in Virginia at the time, and the online coverage of the crisis, even from the normally level-headed New York Times, indicated that the candidate may not have been in any immediate danger. She thanked her campaign volunteers and the law enforcement people for their courage. The malefactor was eventually subdued (he walked out of the office with his hands up-- he was wearing a white shirt and a tie). Candidates and security pundits from around the country are using the opportunity to comment on readiness and safety. Apparently our electoral apparatus, as well as our society in general is expected to survive this grave threat. I assume much of the security equipment functioned as planned, and was not too badly decomposed from its extended storage. The tear gas and stun grenades and night-vision goggles and sniper scopes are all now packed back into their bubble wrap. Crisis resolved. This isn't news.